If you’ve ever wanted to become instant friends with a cat person, I’ve got good news.
It’s honestly not that difficult.
You don’t need to remember my birthday.
You don’t need to buy me coffee.
You definitely don’t need to make awkward small talk.
You just need…cats.
Pepper recently helped me put together this completely scientific friendship guide, and honestly, I don’t think he’s wrong.
1. Be a Cat
This one’s pretty self-explanatory.
If you’re a cat, congratulations. We’re already friends.
Actually…we’re probably best friends.
2. Have a Cat
Cat people have an incredible ability to skip introductions.
You don’t tell me your job.
You don’t tell me where you went to school.
You immediately tell me your cat’s name.
Now we’re talking.
3. Show Me Pictures of Your Cat
This is where true friendships begin.
I don’t care if you’ve shown me the same photo five different times.
I’ll still say,
“Awww!”
…every single time.
And yes, I’ll happily show you the 6,000 photos of Pepper and Sage currently taking over my camera roll.
4. Let Me Meet Your Cat
This is basically the cat version of being introduced to a celebrity.
I will absolutely ask their name.
I’ll ask how old they are.
I’ll ask what treats they like.
I’ll probably ask if they always make that face.
No promises that your cat will actually want to meet me, though.
5. Compliment My Cat
Tell me Pepper is handsome.
Tell me Sage is adorable.
Tell me they’re the cutest cats you’ve ever seen.
Will I act cool about it?
Absolutely not.
6. Pet My Cat
Assuming Pepper allows it.
He’s very selective about these things.
If he walks away halfway through the interaction…
Please don’t take it personally.
He’s just keeping everyone humble.
7. Pet My Cat
Honestly…
Sometimes that’s enough.
Cat people understand.
Meet Pepper and Sage
Pepper is the older brother, professional supervisor, and self-appointed manager of the household. He takes quality control very seriously and firmly believes every package, meal, and visitor should be inspected.
Sage, on the other hand, specializes in chaos. He’s convinced that knocking things off tables is a legitimate hobby and has never met a rule he didn’t immediately test.
Together, they’ve taught me that life with cats is never boring—and apparently they’ve also taught me how to make friends.
